Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Gabriel Joseph - five months

Fifth month
Gabe actively found and enjoyed 
putting his thumb to good use.

He enjoys his walker,
can even make it go forward a little bit.
This is unusual, most of my children have made
them go backwards, for months.

He cut his first tooth,
and is working on the second.
His eyes are two different colors....
anyone ever seen that before?

He's grabbing toys, 
putting them in his mouth,

Cooing, talking, making "mama" sounds -
engaging anyone who will listen.
He initiates conversation, and 
seems endlessly curious.

And this morning, 
one day after the five-month mark,
he rolled over in his crib
(for the first time)
at 5:30 
and told me (loudly)
that it was time to eat.

I am still astonished at how much I am enjoying him, at how "right" it feels to have a baby in our house.  (I'm not the only one who feels this way...it's safe and accurate to say that we all do.)  There's nothing like it and there's nothing that could possibly replace having been given the opportunity to experience and raise another child.  Not a new car, not a new house, not a trip to the Bahamas...nothing.  I am so thankful that this is my life, crazy as it is.

Last night, my husband handed me "the baby" across the bed for me to feed as we prepared to turn in for the night.  I thought of how many, many times this same scene had occurred over our parenting years - and how precious these small moments have been, and are to me.  Morning and evening, day in and day out, year after year - being parents together.  I told him this, and also told him how much I will miss these days when we no longer have little babies in our home.  

Lastly, I want to mention that I took Gabe in for his four month check up a few weeks back.  He checked out well, in the 76th percentile for height and around that for weight.  (He's over 16 lbs.)  Our family doctor (we love her - she's the mama of three young children herself) observed him all over, and at the last said, "I have to mention this to you.  I think the top of his head looks small.  This is a sign of muscular dystrophy.  His development is good, however, and his muscles are strong - he makes eye contact, grabs things, and initiates conversation.  I do not know about MD, things don't seem to add up.  I can't connect anything, but we will watch him for it."  

I agreed with her.  I have thought, myself, that Gabe's head is rather interestingly shaped.  He has a thick neck and heavy (kissable) cheeks, but the top of his head is kind of small.  At her office, I did what I always do when confronted with new information.  I shuffled it into the top filing cabinet in my head, thanked her for the info, drove home and did everything that I needed to do, then pulled the file back out and began combing the internet for information.  What I found was overwhelming.  There's simply too much information and too many types of Muscular Dystrophy for me to even begin to understand it (without help.)  I *think* Gabe is okay, he really is active and connected and strong - but I "had" to shake her words and worry them over like a pup with a chew toy.  It's how I process.  Then, I tucked them back into the filing cabinet for now, knowing that this is something we are just going to have to watch and wait through before we know any more.  Yes, there are diagnostic tests that can be run - but she did not offer them at this time, so we wait - and simply enjoy our sweet boy.


  1. Gabe is adorable. Edgar Guest wrote a wonderful poem about having a baby in the house that makes me cry every time I read it. I should find it for you.

    I could hardly get over here fast enough to share something with you about the MD concerns. When Nick was a baby, he was unable to sit up unless his knees were bent with his legs tucked to the side. His hamstrings were too short and the doctors were sure he had MD. The following Sunday in church, a friend passed a piece a paper to me with words I've never forgotten, "He is Able." As I read your post in my google reader, those words immediately came to mind.

    As I scrolled to the end of your post, the next post in my reader appeared and as I saw what our dear wise friend Violet had written, it took my break away. I just HAD to take a picture for you. Words for you, dearest Holly.... http://www.flickr.com/photos/pollywogcreek/5509762109/

    And as you know, there's nothing wrong with Nick today. Don't know how it happened, but he will be 30 this weekend. =)

  2. Thank you so much Patricia. :)

    You are right - God is able. More than able.

    I also know that everything that is mentioned does not necessarily come to pass...of course it makes me a little nervous, but mostly, I have been able to put it to rest now that I've worried it to pieces. :) I really did wrestle thru so much this last year - of being able to put the Big Picture of faith into the Lord's hands. He is trustworthy, even when things hurt and even when they don't work out like we want. He is also more than able to overcome our frailties if it is for our best.

    Love you, friend.

  3. I just read my earlier post to you. Obviously I should have said it took my "breath" not "break" away.

    Much love to you, too, dearest Holly. (((Hugs)))

  4. He is sooo cute. Saying a prayer for you all.

  5. Oh Holly, that must have scared you to hear that! For whatever it's worth though, I'm placing my money in the "He's absolutely fine" category. :) He is a beautiful and happy baby, it's plain to see.

    I think doctors just like to do that sort of thing to cover their own behinds. One did that to my husband a few years ago, when he had a serious sinus infection migraine - they told him he might have bone cancer in his skull causing the pain. *eyeroll* The specialist we were sent to was kind of perturbed at having his time wasted on something "any doctor should be able to see is simply a sinus infection and not cancer!" So there you go. I'm sure Gabriel's head is simply Gabriel-shaped. :)

    The actress Jane Seymour has 2 different colored eyes too. :) But she's not nearly as cute as Gabriel. :D

    All will be well. *hugs*

  6. I know two people (and now a third--Jane Seymour!) who have differently colored eyes. :)

    And as for the "filed" info, well, "May the God of peace Himself continually grant you peace in every circumstance." (II Thess.3:16) Seems He already has. ~Tina

  7. Dear Holly,
    I was reading over the comments that you had left on my post a while ago, and blest from reading the list of all the things you had done for your parents the day before your sweet baby arrived. http://jillnovak.com/?p=671

    I just wanted to stay in touch with you...I will enjoy reading your blog now that I found it.

    I will be praying for you and your dear little son.


  8. I went to college with a girl who had two different color eyes...she had a terrible time matching her eye make-up! lOl! Your precious boy won't have to worry about that though!

  9. Thank you, Leigh Ann! I hope you are managing okay...been thinking about you and your ankle.

    Vanessa - Thanks. :) I hope so. I've been reading more about the two colors of eye thing...and became even more freaked out. Grin. (That is in spite of what I said to Patricia, above. That was "before..." so, more processing and more peace-seeking.)

    See, the thing is, not only are his eyes two colors - within ONE eye there are two differing colors, with a clear line of demarcation. It's very rare, apparently, and can either be benign, or can be connected to some very rare diseases. So...um...wow. I checked his pupils this morning in the darkened bedroom - apparently no dilation would be problem - but the affected eye DOES dilate well, so that is good. The other thing is that his multi-hued eye is also squinty - also could be indicative of nerve damage. Grrr! Lots of little anomalies that could be nothing, or could be something. BUT - for all of these things that it could be (or nothing...) there is absolutely nothing that can be done about them - thus, there's more of a wait and see approach. Wait and see approaches drive me crazy! Ha Ha. But - there's not really any choice.

    Tina - thanks to you, too. Wonderful verse. I grab hold...

    Jill - so pleased to find you again. I lost your info, too! :)

  10. And 70's chick....too funny about the matching eye shadow. :) That would be difficult. Brown eye liner, or black? What a dilemma! :)

  11. I went to school with a guy who had one brown and one green eye.

  12. Holly,
    I cannot tell you how many people have reassured me and told me not to worry about a child. If it will do any good I say worry or go into action really.
    I also think he looks great. perhaps you can compare baby pics I wonder if he reminds me of Nick. He looks like a Johnson to me.

  13. Holly - He is so, so beautiful! I'll be praying for you and Precious Gabriel, but it's hard to imagine anything could be wrong with such a happy little fellow.
    I am doing the puppy with a chew toy thing to over Christian so I feel your pain. Wait and see is the worst!

  14. Ah, I tried to come back here the other day and post a reply and got shut out. I'm here now! :)

    Robin - I know. I understand what you are saying. I am watching, carefully. Developmentally, he seems great - but as you KNOW sometimes things don't show up in the first few months. Thanks for the push to stay vigilant.

    And yes, his face looks like Jake but his head shape looks like Nick's. :) He's def. Johnson. :)

    Shannon - how IS Christian? It's been long time since I've heard an update...

  15. Holly,
    maybe his multicolored "squinty" eye is just more light sensitive? Not sure what color it is... but blue eyes are more light sensitive than others.
    He is adorable!
    Susan T